Some times coming in 2nd place isn't a good thing....

So the other day I got the 'opportunity' to try an African flat bread called Injera. Sounds intriguing doesn't it? Probably some sort of wonderful old world staple which has been refined over thousands of years with out the tinkering and adulteration of corporate food, right? Wrong, D-E-A-D dead wrong.

I didn't get to jot down the exact recipe but from what I can tell it was something along the lines of:

1) Put on 3 pairs of calf high socks, wrap your feet in a trash bag and secure with a rubber band, run a marathon or two.

2) Remove and stuff socks with your favorite stinky cheese (a recommended Vieux Boulogne, Eposisses de Bourgogne*, or Camembert de Normandy) and place in a warm moist spot.

2) Meanwhile, prepare a large stock pot with fish oil, rancid chicken fat, livers, black eye peas, pickled beef tongue, and a chicken foot for good measure. Simmer on low for a century. Puree and reduce to 1 tsp.

3) Combine both the socks and sauce in sealed yet transparent container and place in direct sunlight for at least a week.

4) Place inside a nuclear reactor and allow flavors to meld until food glows green.

5) Lastly, place on a hot griddle and cook until done. Bon Appétit!


Ok so you may think that is a bit overdoing it, but as the chef said and I quote, "That's going to rock your world!" And did it ever. What made it worse was the clandestine way the bread worked. It just sits there innocently enough looking like a pita bread but made from a dark colored grain, maybe Rye. You pick it up, seems innocent enough. No odd smells, a little spongy between the fingers like a good Muffaletta. A little quizzical even, but wait the drama continues. At first bite you mind says 'not too bad' but you can't help but notice a slight quiver of the lips and barely noticable soggy bread texture. You think nothing of it and continue to chew wanting to finish this novel piece of living history. But then your world is 'rocked'. Destruction. Absolute destruction. I mean like wanting to throw the steering wheel out the window while on the freeway doing 70mph destruction. In fact another great way to think about it is the following scene from The Matrix.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX8Y5-BZLaM

Except this time it is not the good guys that are kicking butt and taking names. That guy in the black suit is the Injera and all those guards yeah they're your taste buds.

And that..........is all I have to say about the 2nd worse thing I've ever eaten.

*Little known fact Eposisses de Bourgogne is a cheese that is so stinky that it has been banned from public transport in France where it is made.